Dropping the Struggle: A Powerful ACT Metaphor

Another key ACT concept is learning to “drop the struggle” against anxiety and fear. Fighting your feelings all the time can be exhausting and often backfires. To understand this, imagine being caught in quicksand:

• Struggling: One person panics and thrashes about, desperately trying to escape. But the more they fight, the deeper they sink.

• Accepting: Another person stops fighting the quicksand. They take a deep breath, relax their body, and float on the surface. By not struggling, they stay afloat until they can slowly work their way out.

  
  

Anxiety can feel like emotional quicksand. The more you struggle against your anxiety (“I have to get rid of these feelings right now!”), the more stuck and overwhelmed you become. ACT encourages you to do the opposite: pause, breathe, and allow the feeling to be there without panicking. By dropping the struggle, you give yourself a chance to float instead of sink. Over time, this approach reduces the power that anxiety has over you.

Real-Life Example: Anxiety and Public Speaking

Let’s consider a real-life example to see how ACT can make a difference. Imagine a client who suffers from severe public speaking anxiety. Before therapy, their thought spiral before a big presentation might look like this:

• "Why me? Why does this always happen to me? It’s not fair."

• "My chest is tightening just thinking about speaking. I know I’m going to mess up — it will be terrible."

• "What if I have a panic attack in front of everyone, like I did last time?"

• "If that happens again, I’ll never live it down. I might even lose my job."

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This anxious inner monologue snowballs quickly, turning into an overwhelming wave of fear, frustration, and shame. Each thought fuels the next, and the anxiety just keeps growing.

Now, how would ACT help in this situation? With Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, the client learned to handle these feelings in a new way:

• Acknowledge: First, they practiced noticing their anxious thoughts and physical sensations without immediately judging them. For example, they might think, I notice my heart is racing and I’m afraid I might fail at this. Just naming the feelings and thoughts — rather than fighting them — was an important first step.

• Allow: Instead of frantically trying to make the anxiety go away, they reminded themselves that it’s okay to feel anxious. It’s a normal, human response to a high-pressure situation.

• Align with Values: They refocused on why they were giving the presentation in the first place. In this case, it was rooted in their values of professional growth and sharing important information with others. Keeping those core values in mind gave them the courage to move forward despite the fear.

• Take Action: Guided by their values (and not by the voice of anxiety), they went through with the presentation. They used simple mindfulness techniques, like focusing on their breathing, to stay present. The anxiety was still there, but it no longer ran the show — what mattered most was delivering their message and staying true to their goals.

  
  

By the end of therapy, this client’s relationship with anxiety had fundamentally changed. The fear of public speaking didn’t magically vanish, but it no longer dominated their life. They could feel nervous before a speech and still stand up to speak because they learned not to engage in a tug-of-war with their anxiety. Instead, they focused on living according to their values, letting the fear come along for the ride without letting it drive.

Final Thoughts

ACT offers a hopeful new way to relate to your thoughts and emotions. Instead of getting tangled up in an internal tug-of-war, you learn to step back, observe, and make room for your feelings. This shift lets you move forward with your life rather than staying stuck in a cycle of suffering.

If you’re tired of being pushed around by anxiety and ready to start living in alignment with what truly matters, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy can provide the guidance and tools you need. Remember, you don’t have to face your anxiety alone.

Ready to take the first step? Book an online therapy session today to start your journey toward a calmer, more fulfilling life. By seeking help and learning about ACT, you’re giving yourself the chance to finally break free from anxiety’s grip and move toward the life you want to live.